That Damn Chicken

It was about two years ago when i got my first chicken.  She came to me through a game of bigger, better, best, which is a game we play in young life where kids will go around to people they know in the area and starting from a penny or paperclip will trade and see who can get the coolest thing by the end of the night.  Well one group of good ol' boys traded their way to a chicken and when all was said and done they didnt want her anymore.  knowing that i was an animal lover she was brought to me, but i had little experience in raising a chicken after all i was just a twenty something with the wind at my back, i couldnt let some chick teather me down.  My heart went out to the terrified fowl as she made this elongated squacky type of growl that i had no idea chickens made.  after looking at her for a minute i said, "guys there is no way we can keep her, what woud we do with her just stick her in a cage or something, that would suck".  One of my 7 roomates piped up, "we could eat her." it was a morbid suggestion but seeing as how i had no idea what else to do with her i thought that eating her would be the best and honestly most humane option.  I ofcourse could not be there for the murder as i had already grown very attatched to the chicken and so i went on a with my other roomate Ed. As i walked away from that doomed chiken her eyes locked on to mine as they stretched her neck across some stray piece of wood that would soon catch my hatchet, saving the blade from dings and dents.  I came home like a man tresspassing, peering around looking for any signs of life, or death rather. As i stepped on to our front porch i saw the chicken perched on the corner of the diapitated couch we couldnt seem to part with, as if she had lived here all along and that was just where she sat.  Toomey looked at me and said, "I couldnt do it dude, she just started going wrrrraaaaaaa ( best i can type the squaky growl) and looking at me."  Suddenly it didnt matter that we didnt know what to do with her, we were keeping her, it was unanimous, and so we called her Cluckers.  Everyone loved cluckers, we made a home for her under our back porch, a beautiful little chicken coup.  Cluckers laid us one egg in her life and it was on Tylers lap, what can i say he has a way with women.  We bought more chickens and even a duck and raised them from babies, we originally got them for cluckers to have friends but she didnt much care for them and spent most of her time outside of the coup and on the corner of the couch on the porch, shitting behind the cushions.  Everything was great  we had the coolest pets, everyone was happy to see Cluckers wandering around the one way (thats what everyone calls the street we live on)  except one person.  Merl is a sad old lady who i truly do feel sorry for.  She spends most of her time going the peoples garbage, snooping around their homes trying to find reasons to complain to the city about college students.  One fatefull day Merl snooped her way behind our house and saw our chicken coup and called animal control on us.  They came and told us that we had to have the gone in two days.  We had no idea what to do with ourselves, Cluckers was a pet, we held her all the time, everyone loved her, she was a nice lady.  We of the brown house came to the consensus that we woud slaughter our animals and eat them.  While i was away, i cant quite remember where, the deed was done and all that was left of them when i came home was plastic bags full of meet in the freezer, each with the name of the occupant written boldly across the bag in sharpy.  I dont remember eating them although i know we did, the meal didnt satisfy near as much as the memories did and still do til this day.

accompsha

Well i have never thought about having a blog but my buddy ben has one and i didnt take him as the blogging type so i said to myself, hey i could have one too.  Why did i call it accompsha though?  well it was the first thing that popped into my head that sounded bloggy or bloggish.  You see when  i was a younger person i went to St. michaels Catholic church im not sure what city it was in because i was too young to care about learning how to get from place to place because thats what moms do.  There is a time in the Catholic Mass that the priest will say something like, " God bless this and that and also for all the prayers in your heart" and then he would pause for like 2 seconds to let you think.  As a ten year old boy i remember being so pissed every sunday because i never had time to gather my thoughts or really actually think about what prayers might be in my heart.  Every week the same thing, until one sunday i decided that i was gonna spend all of mass up until that point praying, thinking about what and who i wanted to pray for and about and after i had prayed all i could i just called the prayer "accompsha" so that when the priest gave us two seconds to think about what we wanted to pray for, i simply said to God, "accompsha" and he knew exactly what it meant.